Change the Worry into Happy

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 8. Here is what I learned.

The birds in the ·sky [heavens],  the fish in the sea, and everything that ·lives under water [passes/travels on the paths of the sea. Psalm 8:8 (EXB)

I’ve learned much from Max, my parakeet, over the past 10 years. As much as I want to control him, he does things that I cannot control. He seems to understand some of what I say, “bedtime”, for example. When I say that, he walks over to me and gives me a kiss and looks down the hallway... he is ready to go into his night cage to go to sleep. But does he really understand what I say, or is it that he knows the routine of the night? 

When I watch Max, I’m amazed at how he knows how to clean his feathers. I didn’t teach him that. God instilled that knowledge into birds when he created them. I love Max’s coloring, bright yellow head and green feathers. I can’t change the coloring of his feathers, again God designed Max that way. 

When I think of the birds of the sky, I’m reminded of this verse:

“Look at the birds. They don’t plant, harvest, or gather the harvest into barns. Yet, your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? “Can any of you add a single hour to your life by worrying? Matthew 6:26, 27 (GW)

I have an appointment with my Pain Management Dr today. We are going to discuss the next step in trying to reduce the new pain caused by the surgery in April. To be honest, I’m a bit worried about what we might need to try. I really don’t want another procedure that can cause more irritation to the nerves.

But worrying about what MIGHT happen, doesn’t help in anyway. God has a plan and a purpose. He’s proven again and again, that He will put me exactly where He wants me to accomplish His will and purpose. 

Since God cares for the birds—I KNOW He’ll care for me. And as a reminder of God’s care, I’m taking Max with me to my Doctor’s appointment today. My Doctor likes Max and I know that she’ll enjoy seeing him again. 

To create a positive day, I need to change the worry into, as Max would say, “happy”, by trusting that God cares and really does know best. 

Update: Max enjoyed visiting with my Dr., and my Dr really enjoyed Max’s visit! And God once again showed His care and guidance. My Dr. has decided to delay any invasive treatments and opted to try some noninvasive treatments first. Thankful that God helped me change my worry into happy!

Possessorship

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 100. Here is what I learned.

Know that the Lord is God. He made us, and ·we belong to him [or not ourselves]; we are his people, the sheep ·he tends [of his pasture]. Psalm 100:3 (EXB)

Know (perceive, recognize, and understand with approval) that the Lord is God! It is He Who has made us, not we ourselves [and we are His]! We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Psalm 100:3 (AMP)

Ownership: legal right of possession; proprietorship, possession; use of, possessorship.

Often I like to think I’m in control of my life. However, as much as I’d like to THINK, I’m in control, I am not. For God, who created me, has ownership of me..... He should, since I am the “work of His hands” (Isaiah 64:8). 

Since God has the authority and is has rightful possessorship of me, doesn’t it make sense that I’d be willing to follow Him and His specific plan for my life? 

Possessorship. God does own me, not once but twice. He created me, and He bought me with the blood of His Son Jesus Christ. And God will not handle His “merchandise” lightly. He truly loves and cares for and about the people He created. 

I have to say, that in light of the past few weeks, this is a great comfort. Since the most recent surgery, I’ve had some additional pain, and the Doctors aren’t sure what is causing it. 

But God has complete possessorship of me, and He knows exactly what is causing the pain, and He has a He has a specific plan and purpose for me. Knowing that I am HIS, allows me to have full confidence that God is doing what He sees best to accomplish His plan. 

To create a positive day, I need to relinquish control of my life to God who ultimately His has the rightful-possessorship.

Let the Momentum Build

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 117. Here is what I learned.

Praise the Lord, all you nations! Praise him, all you people of the world! Psalm 117:1 (GW)

Praise God, everybody! Applaud God, all people! Psalm 117:1 (MSG)

"Praise him, all ye people." Having done it once, do it again, and do it still more fervently, daily increasing in the reverence and zeal with which you extol the Most High. The Treasury of David

As I recover from my most recent surgery, I have found that I don’t much FEEL like praising God. The pain is high... I’d rather complain. However, this verse doesn’t say “Praise the Lord when you FEEL like it.” Rather is says, “Praise the Lord”---PERIOD. 

Praise is not based on me, rather I am to honor and acknowledge God... who He is and what He has done and what He is doing. Praise is not based upon feelings, circumstances, situations, or really anything to do with Me. Praise is to be about God. And since He doesn’t change, He is a constant, faithful, merciful and loving God... my praise to Him should also be constant. 

If I praise God, only when I feel like it, I’d have to say that I don’t think I’d praise God very often. But, when I praise God, I find that how I feel changes. For praising God has an effect on me and my feelings. Praising God changes my focus from me to God. Praising God changes my attention to how I feel to Who God is and what He is doing. Praising God changes my perspective from my viewpoint to God’s viewpoint. Praising God produces more praise! For when I praise God, I want to praise Him more.... it’s a momentum builder! Praise produces more praise and it continues to build... and as my praise to God builds, I find that my feelings change too! 

I only have to begin to praise God and let the momentum build..... for that will create a positive and praise-filled day!

Counting the Blessings

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 67. Here is what I learned.

God will bless us, and all the ends of the earth shall reverently fear Him. Psalm 67:7 (AMP)

God is the source of our blessings; may every corner of the earth respect and revere Him. Psalm 67:7 (VOICE)

God shall bless us,.... The Holy Spirit blesses with regenerating and renewing grace; with faith, comfort, joy and peace, by shedding abroad in the heart the love of the Father and the Son; by applying precious promises; by testifying adoption; by making meet for heaven and happiness, and working up for the selfsame thing eternal glory. Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible 

God shall bless us - He shall ever be speaking good to us, and ever showering down good things upon us. Clarke's Commentary on the Bible

Being blessed by God provides an overwhelming sense of peace. Since surgery, I have to say that although my body is in extreme pain, and I can’t get comfortable, I find myself smiling. For God has blessed me with not only His love, but He continues to send gifts along the way to remind me of His love and that He “knows what I like”. 

Last week, a person sent me a book which she thought I’d enjoy. Now, this person did not know I was having surgery when the book was sent, but God knew that having a new book to read would be perfect following surgery. 

The afternoon, I arrived home from my surgery, I had an email waiting telling me that I won a contest. I won a Larry Dixon Al-Anabi 2010 Champ 1:24 Autographed Top Fuel Dragster NHRA Die cast. It will look great on my Sports Wall. 

Then the past few days, my Ponder Morsels for each day have been awesome for what I needed to focus on and remember. God blessed me with truths to keep my soul refreshed. 

God blesses me in so many ways, and as I think about each blessing, I can easily smile in spite of the pain I feel. 

Counting the blessings God sends my way is not only an easy way, but it’s the best way to create a positive day! 

Take Notice of God’s Works—and Smile!

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 92. Here is what I learned.

For You, O Lord, have made me glad by Your works; at the deeds of Your hands I joyfully sing. Psalm 92:4 (AMP)

Because You, O Eternal One, thrill me with the things You have done, I will sing with joy in light of Your deeds. Psalm 92:4 (VOICE)

You made me find joy in what you have done, O Lord. I will sing joyfully about the works of your hands. Psalm 92:4 (GW)

"For thou, Lord, hast made me glad through thy work." It was natural for the Psalmist to sing, because he was glad, and to sing unto the Lord, because his gladness was caused by a contemplation of the divine work. If we consider either creation or providence, we shall find overflowing reasons for joy; but when we come to review the work of redemption, gladness knows no bounds, but feels that she must praise the Lord with all her might. There are times when in the contemplation of redeeming love we feel that if we did not sing we must die; silence would be as horrible to us as if we were gagged by inquisitors, or stifled by murderers. "I will triumph in the works of thy hands." I cannot help it, I must and I will rejoice in the Lord, even as one who has won the victory and has divided great spoil. In the first sentence of this verse he expresses the unity of God's work, and in the second the variety of his works; in both there is reason for gladness and triumph. When God reveals his work to a man, and performs a work in his soul, he makes his heart glad most effectually, and then the natural consequence is continual praise. The Treasury of David

As I recovery from surgery, from a human stand point, there isn’t much to be glad about. I’m uncomfortable and in pain. But when I think of all that God has done, my heart rejoices and sings. When I think back over all the people I met while at the hospital, I smile. It was a joy to share smiles with each person I met. 

One lady mentioned that I was the “most positive person she’s met”. What a great compliment. But that is due to Who God is and what He is accomplishing in my life. I can choose to see God at work and praise Him for what He has done, and what He is doing, or I can choose to complain and miss out on those great opportunities to share that God is bigger than I am. 

God has made me glad, and even as I deal with the additional pain from surgery, I can smile because of God’s goodness and all He has done! To create a positive day, I need to take notice of God’s works—and smile!

Back Surgery Number 12

Brief report on Surgery Day. This was my 12th back surgery. Today, my doctor removed my broken spinal stimulator.

My surgery outfit! Max, my parakeet, got to go with me... at least his picture did! The words above Max are "Create a Positive Day!"

You can't seem them in this picture, but my socks say "I am blessed"! A friend gave them to me for my birthday, and I thought they'd be great to wear on Surgery day. 

God used 8 "sticks" trying to get the IV started to introduce me to MORE people, who of course each received some "Create a Positive Day! treats. It took 4 nurses (including IV therapy specialist), the anesthesiologist, and my Dr to get the IV started. 

One really cool thing that happened in the midst of trying to get the IV started...One of the nurses said that we need to call on the IV Angels.. Perfect opportunity to share my Ponder Morsel for the day, On Guard Duty! I was able to share how God's Angels were on guard duty watching over me. What a wonderful opportunity that was. There are always reasons for what we may think are 'bad things'. If I didn't have trouble with getting the IV going...I wouldn't have had the opportunity to share about God and His angels. 

Surgery went well. Spent time in Recovery, moved to Day Surgery and back to recovery (no room in day surgery), then back to day surgery.. meeting more people along the way. 

Gave out MANY CPD treats and then my Dr took the treat bag and put it in the Drs/anesthesiologists lounge, so ALL the treats have been/or will be enjoyed. 

When I arrived home and checked my email... and I won ANOTHER contest! I won aLarry Dixon Al-Anabi 2010 Champ 1:24 Autographed Top Fuel Dragster NHRA Die cast from Plan B Sales! It will look great next to my #48 NASCAR die cast I won from Lionel a few weeks ago.

It was a blessed day!  I'm very sore, as to be expected. Now just have to "do nothing" and heal.

I have to say that I had a "fun day" creating a positive surgery day!

On Guard Duty!

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 91. Here is what I learned.

For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service]. Psalm 91:11 (AMP)

He has ·put his angels in charge of [commanded his angels/messengers concerning] you to ·watch over [keep; guard] ·you wherever you go [all your ways]. Psalm 91:11 (EXB)

Guard: keep, preserve, protect.

Guard: protector Synonyms: bouncer, chaperon, chaperone, defender, escort, guardian, lookout, sentinel, sentry,  shield, ward, watch, watchperson, escort, superintend, supervise, tend, keeper, watchdog.

The Ministry of Angels as employed by God.

1. Official: "he shall give," etc.

2. Personal: "over thee."

3. Constant, "in all thy ways."

The Treasury of David

We have the safeguard of the empire; not only the protection of the King, from which the wicked as outlaws are secluded; but also the keeping of angels, to whom he hath given a charge over us, to keep us in all his ways. So nearly we participate of his divine things, that we have his own guard royal to attend us.  Thomas Adams. 

"For he shall give his angels charge over thee." Not one guardian angel, as some fondly dream, but all the angels are here alluded to. They are the bodyguard of the princes of the blood imperial of heaven, and they have received commission from their Lord and ours to watch carefully over all the interests of the faithful. When men have a charge they become doubly careful, and therefore the angels are represented as bidden by God himself to see to it that the elect are secured. It is down in the marching orders of the hosts of heaven that they take special note of the people who dwell in God. It is not to be wondered at that the servants are bidden to be careful of the comfort of their Master's guests; and we may be quite sure that when they are specially charged by the Lord himself they will carefully discharge the duty imposed upon them. "To keep thee in all thy ways." To be a body-guard, a garrison to the body, soul, and spirit of the saint. The limit of this protection "in all thy ways" is yet no limit to the heart which is right with God. It is not the way of the believer to go out of his way. He keeps in the way, and then the angels keep him. The protection here promised is exceeding broad as to place, for it refers to all our ways, and what do we wish for more? How angels thus keep us we cannot tell. Whether they repel demons, counteract spiritual plots, or even ward off the subtler physical forces of disease, we do not know. Perhaps we shall one day stand amazed at the multiplied services which the unseen bands have rendered to us. The Treasury of David

As I have surgery today, what an awesome comfort to know that I have God’s angels standing guard! WOW! What an amazing thought. Not only is God on watch (Psalm 121), and God is noticing me (Psalm 33), but God has give His angels charge over me—they are on guard duty!

To create a positive day, I only need to be doing what God wants me to do... and rest in the fact that God’s angels will be on guard duty!

Taken Notice of Me!

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 33. Here is what I learned.

The Lord looks down from heaven; He observes everyone. Psalm 33:13 (HCSB)

The Lord looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. Psalm 33:13 (NLT)

"The Lord looketh from heaven." The Lord is represented as dwelling above and looking down below; seeing all things, but peculiarly observing and caring for those who trust in him. It is one of our choicest privileges to be always under our Father's eye, to be never out of sight of our best Friend. The Treasury of David

“Look at me! Look at me!” Remember as kids we wanted the attention of our parents, teachers, etc. We’d do what we could to get their attention, and then we felt so cool, and awesome that they noticed us... or we “made them notice us”. Now as adults, we often think it awesome, when a celebrity, or sport’s star looks our way or gives us an autograph. Guess we really all like to be noticed sometimes. 

Psalm 33:13 tells us that God notices us, and we don’t have to jump up and down or wave our arms or shout... He simply looks and sees us. 

Lord willing tomorrow, I’ll have my broken spinal stimulator removed. I’ll be the ‘center of attention’ tomorrow. The Nurses, Doctors, and staff will be focused on me! The sad part is most of the time, I won’t be aware of their attention as I’ll be asleep. But I’m thankful that they will be “looking down and seeing me”. 

Yet, better than being seen my the Medical staff, I’m being seen by God! He is carefully watching over me and is aware of all the details happening around me. He is “peculiarly observing and caring for me... and I’m never out of sight of my Best Friend!”  Even when I am unaware of what is happening, I can enjoy peace because God is watching!

To create a positive day, I only need to take a moment to remember, God has taken notice of me!

Approved and Appointed to Accomplish

Throughout this year, each day of the month, I'm "Treasure Hunting" in a Psalm. I've created a "Ponder Every Morsel of Truth" Book to record the truths as I learn them. The second of each month, I'm studying Psalm 4. Here's what Treasure I found today.

You know that the Lord has ·chosen [set apart; distinguished] for himself those who are loyal to him [in covenant relationship with him].The Lord listens when I ·pray [call] to him. Psalm 4:3 (EXB)

Know that the Lord singles out godly people for himself. The Lord hears me when I call to him. Psalm 4:3 (GW)

But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself [and given distinction to] him who is godly [the man of loving-kindness]. The Lord listens and heeds when I call to Him. Psalm 4:3 (AMP)

Chosen: separate, set apart, sever; a primitive root; to distinguish (literally or figuratively) -- put a difference, show marvellous, set apart, make wonderfully. 

Chosen: Part of Speech: adjective Definition: preferred

Chosen, accepted: Part of Speech: adjective Definition: generally agreed upon

Chosen, destined: Part of Speech: adjective Definition: en route, on the road to

Being chosen by God doesn’t mean that I just sit and do nothing. Being chosen is an honor, but also comes with responsibilities. I’ve been chosen, that means approved and appointed to accomplish God’s plan. 

God also decided ahead of time to choose us through Christ according to his plan, which makes everything work the way he intends. He planned all of this so that we who had already focused our hope on Christ would praise him and give him glory. Ephesians 1:11-12 (GW)

As I think of being "Approved and Appointed to Accomplish" it sure helps put the past 13 years living in chronic pain in perspective. God has chosen me, but with that comes responsibility to accomplish His will. It's not about me, rather it's to be about Him and sharing His love with those around me. This is another good lesson for me to remember as I prepare and face back surgery number 12 on April 29th. I'm not "just going in for surgery" rather, I have a “designed by God appointment”—God has approved and appointed me to accomplish His specific plan and to let each person I meet know about my amazing God. 

The Lord has chosen, approved and appointed me to accomplish a specific plan He has designed for me. Knowing that I’m approved and appointed to accomplish God’s will, makes a very positive day! 

Time Frame

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 90. Here is what I learned.

A thousand years to you are like one day; they are like yesterday, already gone, like a short hour in the night. Psalm 90:4 (GNT)

Time. At times it seems that time literally stands still, while other moments fly by. Time. 24 hours in a day. 7 days in a week. 52 weeks in a year. 

A Thousand years, like a day. 365000 days is just like ONE day. That’s hard to grasp in my small mind. But if I really think about it... it sure makes me understand a “waiting period” a bit more. 

I’m waiting on a surgery date, to remove the broken spinal implant stimulator. I feel likes it’s been “FOREVER” but it really has only been a few weeks... and I learned yesterday, that I’ll have to wait a few more days/weeks until I learn the date... than it’s more waiting until that date arrives. 

I’m not a good “waiter”, as I’ve stated before. I like to move full-steam ahead! However, God continues to teach me that I have a lot to learn in God’s waiting room. 

A thousand years are like one day. When I think of that fact... that God is not bound by our time, the waiting period really isn’t about “time” rather it’s about what works best in God’s plan. In the eternal scope of eternity, God’s plan continues and my life is but a “blip” on the screen, if you will. 

Today. 24 hours. One day. May seem like eternity to me.... yet, it’s not even a second in God’s perspective. I have a choice, fret about something taking soooo long, or relax and allow God to accomplish His plan... in His time frame. A second really isn't that long of a time, neither is a day or two, in light of eternity. 

God is not bound by my time frame, rather He works in the scope of eternity. And when I stop measuring time and relax knowing that God will accomplish His will according to His plan, that is when I can create a positive day. 

My Powerhouse...In Action!

Yesterday my Ponder Morsel was on God's strength and help. And Feb 21, I saw some examples of God's strength and help as He worked out amazing details. 

Back on Feb 5, 2013 I had a spinal stimulator trial wire removed from my back. Since that time, my pain level has been extreme, and now included an area higher in the back. My pain management Dr was out of the office, but I was able to get some stronger medication and make an appointment to see her on Feb 21. 

Feb. 21: My appointment was scheduled for 4:10 pm. That would mean I'd be coming home during the rush hour traffic. That would make my trip longer and require additional stops, since I can't sit very long without standing/lying down.  

However, my Pain Management Dr's office called, there had been a cancelation, would I like to come in earlier? YES!! So, my appointment was changed from 4:10 pm to 2 pm. Little did I realize that God had something even better planned than me avoiding rush hour traffic. 

My Pain Management Dr. decided that my pain is due the the nerves being irritated by the wire and the stimulator. The nerves were also causing muscle spasms. We discussed some options and decided on trying a different medication. And she wanted me to see my Chiropractor for non-force adjustment and ultra-sound treatment. 

Then we discussed the spinal implant stimulator. From the trial, we learned that the paddle or wire has to be exactly mid-line in the back for me to get any stim in the leg. That can be difficult to achieve. And each time surgery is done on the back, I grow more scar tissue and that creates more nerve irritation, and can cause additional pain. Therefore, at this time, I am not going to try another spinal implant stimulator. I'll have surgery in the next month or so, to remove the old broken stimulator battery (IPG) and wiring. The paddle will remain since there is scar tissue in that area and it is secured in place. 

As we were discussing where we go from here to help with pain, I mentioned how acupuncture has helped some. That's when my Dr mentioned a trial taking place on Tuesday, 2/26. A company is coming to her office to demonstrate a stim which uses acupuncture points on the ear, to reduce pain. The device is worn for 3 days stimulating specific points on the ear throughout the 3 days. Then the device is removed. Would I be interested in trying it? Knowing that I usually respond well to acupuncture, I definitely want to learn more about it. I’ll be meeting with my Dr and the company on Tuesday, Feb 26. Excited about a new possible treatment. God’s timing is perfect. My Dr could only have 2 patients for the trial, and so God made sure my Dr saw me at just the right time, so that we could discuss this option. Talk about God being my Powerhouse! 

As I left my Pain Management Dr’s office, I realized that I wan’t too far from my Chiropractor's office. I called to see if there was an available appointment. They were able to fit me. That saved me a trip out in the snow expected on Friday. God had that planned perfectly. I would have not been able to see my Chiropractor if my Pain Management appointment time had stayed at 4:10 pm.  

After leaving my Chiropractor’s office, I made my way home, stopping at Walgreens to get my medications. This is the first time a long time that the “wait time” at Walgreens was short! God knew that although the Chiropractic treatment helped, I was still in pain, and if I had to wait too long, it would “undo” all the good the treatment had done. God made sure I arrived at Walgreens during a “slow time”. 

And to top it all off....as I walked into my apartment, I was greeted with the delicious smell of Turkey Chili which I had cooking in the crock pot. Was nice to have dinner all prepared. Sure tasted good too. 

Looking back over the day, it's nice to see how God rearranged schedules so that I'd be able to see my Pain Management Dr and Chiropractor. And seeing my Pain Management Dr. on Thursday, was also God-designed so that I could be part of Tuesday's appointment acupuncture stim trial. 

"My Powerhouse". No matter how you say it—the truth remains. God is my strength. God is my shield. God is trustworthy. God is my help. God is praiseworthy. I saw many examples of God’s strength and help throughout the day. The day was a very positive day because I recognized God’s attention to details, and saw that He truly is “My Powerhouse”.

Update on Spinal Stimulator Trial

On Jan 31, 2013 I had a Spinal Implant Stimulator wire inserted in the epidural space to see if we could get a new spinal stimulator to help reduce my leg pain. The Dr had a difficult time inserting the wire due to the old stimulator paddle and scar tissue.

We were able to get the wire placed with some stim in the leg. I was able to "play" with the stim settings for several days to evaluate if it helped or caused more pain. The wire was removed on Feb 5th. 

We learned a few things from the trial:

1. There is scar tissue near the paddle (how much, we don't know)
2. The wire has to be EXACTLY mid-line in the back and at a higher level (T6 area)
3. If the wire is even slightly left or right, the stim moves to the front & creates pain. 

Since the removal of the wire on Feb 5, my pain level has been much higher. Not sure if the scar tissue is now pressing nerves, or if the nerves were just irritated by the wire/stim. My Pain Management Dr has been out of the office this week, but one of her Associates was able to get stronger pain med. I plan on talking with my Dr this next week (Feb 18-22) as to what, if anything we can do to lower the pain level at least back to "normal". 

What have I learned during this time?

• That God doesn't change depending on my pain level. 
• That even though I cannot do anything (moving hurts!), I can still pray for people. 
• That music with the right message is important to my "soul health" which is vital in tolerating the physical pain. (My Ponder Morsel for Feb 14, 2013)
• That it's okay to say "ouch" once and awhile. I usually try to be very strong and don't want to be a "complainer". But saying "ouch" is just stating a fact. I'm not complaining.

Where do I go from here? The first step is to see if we can get the pain level back to my "normal" level (which is plenty high enough). Then I have a few options as to what to do regarding the Spinal Stimulator.

• One option is to have another trial, which would be a "partial permanent implant" trial. That means the Dr would implant the wire/paddle and secure it in place. Part of the wire would be worn externally for a week or two to see if I'd get any relief. If the placement is correct and it works, the Dr. would disconnect the external wiring and connect new wires implanting the wires and new battery pack (IPG). If it did not work, the Dr. would remove the implant and wiring. 
• Another option is to have the old stimulator wiring and battery pack (IPG) removed. And 'give up' on using a Spinal Stimulator Implant for pain relief. 
• The last option is to see if the old stimulator wiring, battery pack (IPG) and paddle can be removed. Removing the paddle may not be easy due to the placement on the spinal cord and the scar tissue in that area. This would also be 'giving up' on using a Spinal Stimulator Implant for pain relief. 

How do I "feel" about all this?

• I'm thankful for some answers regarding the Spinal Stimulator Implant. We know that for me to get any relief the wire/paddle has to be exactly mid-line and higher. 
• I don't like the increased pain. And I have to take that into consideration as I make my decision on another implant trial. Each time I have surgery I will grow more scar tissue and that can irritate more nerves. 
• I'm thankful for the stronger pain medications, but don't like the side-effects. 

Right now I'm in the "waiting room". And as many of you know, I'm not a very good "waiter". But I'm trying to learn that waiting is not a bad thing. As I wait, I can continue to pray about my decision and continue to research my options. 

Thank you for your prayers as I "wait". God is good all the time! And all the time God is good! 

Creating a positive day isn't easy when the pain level is extreme. But I'm learning that the day can be very positive if I keep my focus on what God is doing, and allow God to teach me and use me to help others. 

A Rock-Solid Guarantee!

Throughout this year, each day of the month, I'm "Treasure Hunting" in a Psalm. I've created a "Ponder Every Morsel of Truth" Book to record the truths as I learn them. The eleventh of each month, I'm studying Psalm 117. Here's what Treasure I found today.

His mercy toward us is powerful. The Lord’s faithfulness endures forever. Psalm 117:2 (GW)

For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Psalm 117:2 (NIV)

Faithfulness: establish, steadfast, reliability, sureness, stability, continuance, right, sure, true, truth.

As I heal from my latest back procedure, and as I think about how to move forward, there is one factor that I wish I could change—the fact that there are no guarantees in medicine. Before each procedure/surgery I have had to sign many forms. On one form there is a statement that I have to initial, to make sure I read it and understand it: “No guarantees have been given.”

No guarantees. No assurance that the procedure or surgery will work, or that it won’t make me worse. No guarantees that this procedure will be the “cure all” I’m seeking. No guarantees—period. 

As I read Psalm 117 this morning, the word that was flashing like a neon sign, was “faithfulness”. The steadfastness of God endures forever. That is a guarantee. 

What does the guarantee of God’s faithfulness include? So much!

• God’s faithfulness is the foundation for His promises. He can make and keep all His promises, because He is faithful.
• God’s faithfulness is the foundation of His love. He can love with an unconditional everlasting love, because He is faithful.
• God’s faithfulness is the foundation of His grace. He provided a way of salvation and everlasting life, because He is faithful.
• God’s faithfulness is the foundation of His mercy. His mercies are new every morning..... there is an never-ending supply, because He is faithful. 

God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! Lamentations 3:22-24(MSG)

No guarantees. That means that the person or product is not sure of an outcome. No idea if it will work. How long it will last. If it will cause additional problems. No guarantees. 

Yet, God has a guarantee—His faithfulness assures it! His way of salvation will work. His love, mercy, and grace is everlasting. God’s guarantee comes with many additional benefits! A rock-solid guarantee.

The Lord’s faithfulness endures forever—that is one guarantee that makes for a very positive day!

Smile just waiting—Grab it!

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 43. Here is what I learned.

Why am I discouraged. Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God! Psalm 43:5 (NLT)

Why ·am I so sad [are you downcast, my soul]? Why ·am I so upset [are you groaning/in an uproar]? I ·should [or will] ·put my hope in [wait for] God and ·keep praising [or will again praise] him, my ·Savior [Victor] and my God. Psalm 43:5 (EXB)

Why art thou cast down O my soul and why art thou disquieted within me hope in God for I shall yet praise him who is the health of my countenance and my God. Psalm 43:5 (KJV w/Strongs) 

Why: interrogative what? (including how? Why? When?); but also exclamation, what! (including how!).

Discouraged: be cast down, despairing, to sink or be depressed, be (bring) low.

Sad: to be in great commotion or tumult, to rage, war, moan, clamor, be disquieted, tumultuous, be in an uproar.

Soul: living being, life, self, person, desire, passion, appetite, emotion.

Hope: to wait; by implication, to be patient, hope -- (cause to, have, make to) hope, stay, tarry, trust, wait. 

God: Eelohim- very great, mighty.

For: assuredly, but, certainly, doubtless.

Again: a going around, continuance, still, yet, again, beside, repeatedly, still, more -- again all life long, repeat.

Praise: yield yourselves, acknowledge, give thanks, to revere or worship (with extended hands).

God: the supreme God

As his hope, his never-failing hope, v. 5. Here, as before, David quarrels with himself for his dejections and despondencies, and owns he did ill to yield to them, and that he had no reason to do so: Why art thou cast down, O my soul? He then quiets himself in the believing expectation he had of giving glory to God (Hope in God, for I shall yet praise him) and of enjoying glory with God: He is the health of my countenance and my God. That is what we cannot too much insist upon, for it is what we must live and die by. Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

It’s so easy to be discouraged and depressed. But there is a solution—praise, worship God the very source of HOPE! There’s an old saying, “Turn that frown upside down.” This verse isn’t about putting on a fake smile, but rather there is a true REASON to smile—HOPE from God.

To be honest, I don’t feel much like smiling today. I’m recovering from the spinal implant stimulator trial, my back hurts, my headache is severe, and I have more questions than answers on how to move forward. But I have a choice to make—I can wallow in my situation and have  a pity-party, or I can change my focus to God and the Hope and Joy He provides. 

Today seems like a very hard day to create a positive day, but actually, it’s easy if I change my focus to God and the hope He provides. He has a SMILE just waiting for me—and I choose to GRAB it!

Abundantly Congratulates!

Throughout this year, each day of the month, I'm "Treasure Hunting" in a Psalm. I've created a "Ponder Every Morsel of Truth" Book to record the truths as I learn them. The fifth of each month, I'm studying Psalm 29. Here's what Treasure I found today.

The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11 (EXB)

Gives: apply, appoint, ascribe, assign, cause.

Strength: boldness, loud, might, power, strength, strong, to be stout.

His people: specifically, a tribe, group of people.

Blesses: abundantly, altogether, congratulate, to kneel.

Peace: completeness, soundness, welfare, well, favor, friend, rest, safety.

"Peace." There is a threefold "peace," externa, interna, aeterna; temporal, spiritual, celestial peace. There is outward peace, the blessing; inward peace, the grace; and everlasting peace, of glory. And as in a stately palace there is a lodge or court that leads into the inmost goodly rooms, so external peace is the entrance or introduction to the inward lodgings of the sweet peace of conscience and of that eternal rest in which our peace in heaven shall be happy, inasmuch as external peace affords us many accommodations and helps to the gaining and obtaining both the one and the other. - Ephraim Udall. 1642.

The Lord will bless his people with peace - They have nothing to fear in the tempest and storm; nothing to fear from anything. He will bless them with peace in the tempest; He will bless them with peace through that power by which He controls the tempest. Let them, therefore, not fear in the storm, however fiercely it may rage; let them not be afraid in any of the troubles and trials of life. in the storm, and in those troubles and trials, he can make the mind calm; beyond those storms and those troubles he can give them eternal peace in a world where no "angry tempest blows." Barnes' Notes on the Bible

Why do we fight so hard to find peace, contentment, that sence of safety and calmness? God says that He will bless us with peace. It’s there, if we simply want to accept it. Nothing magical. Just accept the peace and completeness God abundantly pours out upon His people. 

Read though Psalm 29 again. The same God who shows His strength and power in the mighty storms, is very able to provide peace. Nothing is too hard for God! Today, I am to have my temporary spinal stimulator wire removed. And I’ll be making a decision on if I should make it permanent, or simply “give up” on the spinal stimulator as a way to reduce my pain. I’ve noticed the last few weeks, as I’ve discussed this with God, He has given me great peace about each step. It’s so great to know that God is listening to me as I talk with Him, and He is giving me guidance and I move forward. 

My Ponder Morsels lately have been “just what I need’. But God knew that too! Blesses His people with peace. God creates a positive day for me as He abundantly congratulates me with His peace.

Total Package

Throughout this year, each day of the month, I'm "Treasure Hunting" in a Psalm. I've created a "Ponder Every Morsel of Truth" Book to record the truths as I learn them. The third of each month, I'm studying Psalm 16. Here's what Treasure I found today.

I ·praise [bless] the Lord because he advises me. Even at night, ·I feel his leading [my innards instruct me]. Psalm 16:7 (EXB)

Bless: bless God, adore with bended knees, abundantly, altogether, congratulate.

Lord: of deity Yahweh.

Who: forasmuch, from where.

Counsel (advises): to advise; reflexively, to deliberate or resolve -- advertise, advise (well), consult, determine, guide, purpose. 

Indeed (even): furthermore, how much more.

Instruct: chastise, correct, reform, reprove, teach, let oneself be corrected, imparting of wisdom.

Mind: literally the kidneys; meaning “the interior self” , the vessel, thoughts, inter-most being, the seat of the affections.

Night: midnight season, figuratively adversity.

The occupying of the gold. The believer seeking instruction from the counsels of the Lord by night, and realizing his promise by day. The Treasury of David

"My reins also instruct me in the night seasons." We have a saying among ourselves that "the pillow is the best counsellor;" and there is much truth in the saying, especially if we have first committed ourselves in prayer to God, and taken a prayerful spirit with us to our bed. In the quiet of its silent hours, undisturbed by the passions, and unharassed by the conflicts of the world, we can commune with our own heart, and be instructed and guarded as to our future course even "in the night season." David especially seems to have made these seasons sources of great profit as well as delight. Sometimes he loved to meditate upon God as he lay upon his bed; and it was no doubt as he meditated on the Lord's goodness and on the way by which he had led him, that he was, as it were, constrained, even at midnight, to arise and pray. While, therefore, we acknowledge the pillow to be a good counsellor, let us with David here acknowledge also that it is the Lord who gives the counsel, and sends the instruction in the night season. - Barton Bouchier

God gives us advise and guidance in all aspects of our lives. I am very thankful that as I make a decision on  the new spinal implant stimulator, that God will guide me—if I ask Him and then listen to Him. Yesterday, the Ponder Morsel was the “gift of peace”. When I rely on God’s wisdom and knowledge of the circumstances, then I know He will not only give me the answers I seek, but the peace to go along with those decisions. It’s a “total package”! 

I need to accept, not only God’s gift of peace, but His wisdom and guidance as I seek His purpose in and for my life. To create a positive day, it’s all about accepting the “total package” from God—wisdom and peace.

Surgery Day

Today I'm scheduled for my 11th Back Surgery. For those of you who are new to my blog, here's the short version of the past 12 years. 

• Oct 2000: coughed and herniated a disc in my lower back.
• April 2001: Surgery 1, hemilaminectomy and diskectomy at L5/S1 level
• Nov 2001: Surgery 2, Fusion L5/S1 level
• Aug 2002: Surgery 3: Surgery hardware (left) removed (screw worked way through the bone, damaging nerves/muscles)
• March 2004: Surgery 4: Re-do the Fusion L5/S1
• Oct 4, 2005: Surgery 5: Spinal Implant Stimulator Trial, implant wires
• Oct 11, 2005: Surgery 6: Spinal Implant Stimulator Trial, removal of wires
• Oct 18, 2005: Surgery 7: Spinal Implant Stimulator (permanent placement of wires; so we thought)
• Oct 24, 2006: Surgery 8: Spinal Implant Stimulator repaired/new battery
• Feb 06, 2007: Surgery 9: Spinal Implant Stimulator Paddle Wire placed (wires removed)
• Nov 10, 2009: Surgery 10: New Battery for Spinal Stimulator
• Jan 31, 2013: Surgery 11: Spinal Implant Stimulator Trail, testing new wires

In between the surgeries, there have been numerous tests, treatments, etc. Although I live with chronic back and left leg pain, and headaches, I can honestly say that God is good. He has proven time and time again that He loves me.

He has a purpose and a plan for me and that includes living with chronic pain/headaches. Why? I think because He is using the pain to first teach me more about Himself. Secondly, He is using the pain the introduce me to others. And lastly, because He knows that this is the best way for me to accomplish His will, which is sharing His love with others. 

No matter who I'm feeling or what I'm facing, God is good all the time, and all the time God is good! God does not change based upon my circumstances. He can be none other than Who He is. 

So, today is surgery 11. Wonder what God has planned for today? No matter what it is, I know that God is in control and He is an AWESOME God. And that will create a positive day, no matter the outcome!

2012 Christmas Letter

My Agenda or God's Agenda?

Monday. Was just planning my agenda for today as I try to get things accomplished before surgery on Thurs, Dec 20. I had to stop in the midst of "MY PLANNING" to realize that I need to make sure "MY AGENDA" is what God wants me to accomplish today.

I want to spend my day "God-looking" not "Rhonda-doing". For if my focus is on me and what I want to get done, I'll miss the wonderful things God wants me to accomplish and the blessings He has waiting for me. 

Time to pause and talk my day over with God to make sure He's included in my plans and I'm listening to His directions as I go throughout my day.

When I include God in my planning that makes a positive day!

Well-Thought-Out Plans

"God, you are my God.

I celebrate you. I praise you.

You’ve done your share of miracle-wonders,

well-thought-out plans, solid and sure."

Isaiah 25:1 (MSG)

I'm claiming this verse for my 'surgery week'. My goal is to celebrate and praise God and share His miracle-wonders...knowing that no matter what the outcome of the surgery it's all part of HIS well-thought-out plan...very solid and true! What a peace and comfort that provides! 

And the very thought that God has a specific plan for me sure makes the day a positive one! 

Note: On December 20th I'm scheduled for back surgery number nine. I'm trying a new Spinal Implant Stimulator Company. The goal of this surgery is to see if the Dr. can place wires without removing the 'paddle' from the other Stimulator. I'll be "wired" for a week to test the placement. The wires will be removed in back surgery number 10, on or about December 27th. If the new wire placement works in helping reduce my leg pain, I'll make then decision whether or not for permanent placement.