Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Hit a Brick Wall

There is a kid's action song, "Going on a Bear Hunt". As you hunt for the bear you face obstacles, such as a tree and a river. "You can't go around it. You can't go under it. You have to climb up/down it or swim across it." It's a cute song, and each obstacle you face on the hunt, is easily overcome.

But what happens in real life when we are faced with an obstacle. We come to the end of our ropes or hit a brick wall. We can't climb over it, we can't go around it. We are stuck. Perhaps you are at that point in your life. You have reached your pain threshold, and you injury something else. Or your finances are stretched so thin you can't possible afford one more item, and there is an emergency, like the car dies. 

When we find ourselves facing a brick wall it can be overwhelming. The wall is impenetrable. It looms in front of us and as we stand looking up at the wall, it seems to grow in size. As you stand there, you think it will come crashing down around you, then maybe at least you'd be able to see past the wall as you stand in the midst of chaos.

This week I hit a brick wall. On Thanksgiving Day, I received a "low battery" message on my spinal stimulator IPG (battery pack). And no, you just can't insert a new Duracell battery. It takes surgery to replace the unit. 

Yesterday, I saw my pain management doctor to have the IPG (battery) checked. After running a few tests and talking with tech support, we learned some information. I have a broken link on the paddle that sits on my spinal cord. Right now, it's not a big concern, we'll just watch it. 
As for the IPG (battery) there seemed to be more questions than answers. The plan for now is to "override" the low battery message and see if it will keep working. I left the office with a plan. Later last night, I had additional trouble with the IPG and received new error codes—my wall was growing brick by brick.

The uncertainty of what is happening with the IPG is my brick wall.  Why am I getting the error messages? Am I looking at surgery #9? Does the stimulator provide enough relief to warrant the risk and cost of additional surgeries? The unknowns continue to add layers of bricks to my wall. 

This week in my Bible Study, I was to study Psalm 8 and rewrite it in my words. Here is what I wrote: 
Jehovah, the Lord, You are powerful—excellent, famous, gallant, glorious, goodly, mighty, noble, and worthy. Everything in nature knows your majesty, even the tiniest baby displays your glory.
As I look upward to the vastness of the universe I am humbled and so thankful that You, God, are very aware of each and every detail in my life. It’s comforting to know that You are not surprised by anything happening in my life. You are fully alert—watching, and overseeing each detail.
Everything You’ve made gives You praise and honor, and You chose man to care for it all. As I look upon all that is around me, I too must praise You for You are truly great and worthy of more praise than I can rightly give.
Did you catch the few sentences in the middle?
You, God, are very aware
of each and every detail in my life.
It’s comforting to know that You
are not surprised by anything
happening in my life.
You are fully alert—watching,
and overseeing each detail.

God knew about my "wall" long before I saw it. He hasn't left me without a way to overcome the obstacle. He may help me climb over it, or dig under it, or He may simply take it down brick by brick.  The latter may take some time—my brick wall seems VERY LARGE! However, I can't look at the brick wall as an obstacle or hindrance, it has been allowed by God for a purpose.  God is FULLY ALERT—watching and overseeing EACH detail. 
If I'm standing at a wall,
then it's God who designed
it to be in my life.
And as the Architect,
He knows exactly how to move it. 

I'm standing at a wall. What do I do? I have a choice. I can continue staring at the wall and continue to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. OR I can rest in the assurance that God has a plan and when it's time to move forward He will either remove the wall, or help me overcome it. 
Maybe it's time to sit down
in the shadow of the wall and
let God do His work. 

Some circumstances make creating a positive day harder than others. However, no matter what circumstances I find myself, God is the constant Who does not change. His love is unconditional. He provides peace. He does care.
Even as I face my brick wall, it's possible to create a positive day, if I make that choice. Today, I choose to accept the FACT that God is FULLY ALERT—watching and overseeing EACH detail of my life. And there is comfort in letting God work and design the plan for my life (even if He builds a few walls).
Trusting God in the midst of overwhelming obstacles
is the only way to create a positive day.