The Future

Ever find yourself trying to guess the future? Last night as I was talking with God about this whole moving business, I was trying to figure out the "Doctor situation". The more I talked with Him, the more I wanted to KNOW NOW exactly what my doctors would be like and who they are. 

But God gently reminded me that He has that all taken care of too. Since God blessed me with an amazing team here—I have a wonderful Chiropractor and Pain Management Doctor—God will supply a new team when I relocate. 

Sometimes, I wish God would reveal the future to me. That would make planning so much easier on my part... I would have all the details worked out. HOWEVER, God knows that if I knew the future, 1. I wouldn't trust Him. 2. I would be overwhelmed with what He has planned. 3. It would take all the joy out of the surprises He has planned.

Therefore, I need to stop trying to guess what the future holds, and focus on the blessings God has planned for today. After all, God really does know the future... and He has all the details worked out. Isn't God amazing?!!

Possessorship

This year, I'm sharing my "Treasures" of my study of my "Ponder the Morsels" book. I've picked 31 Psalms to study throughout 2013. Today I studied Psalm 100. Here is what I learned.

Know that the Lord is God. He made us, and ·we belong to him [or not ourselves]; we are his people, the sheep ·he tends [of his pasture]. Psalm 100:3 (EXB)

Know (perceive, recognize, and understand with approval) that the Lord is God! It is He Who has made us, not we ourselves [and we are His]! We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Psalm 100:3 (AMP)

Ownership: legal right of possession; proprietorship, possession; use of, possessorship.

Often I like to think I’m in control of my life. However, as much as I’d like to THINK, I’m in control, I am not. For God, who created me, has ownership of me..... He should, since I am the “work of His hands” (Isaiah 64:8). 

Since God has the authority and is has rightful possessorship of me, doesn’t it make sense that I’d be willing to follow Him and His specific plan for my life? 

Possessorship. God does own me, not once but twice. He created me, and He bought me with the blood of His Son Jesus Christ. And God will not handle His “merchandise” lightly. He truly loves and cares for and about the people He created. 

I have to say, that in light of the past few weeks, this is a great comfort. Since the most recent surgery, I’ve had some additional pain, and the Doctors aren’t sure what is causing it. 

But God has complete possessorship of me, and He knows exactly what is causing the pain, and He has a He has a specific plan and purpose for me. Knowing that I am HIS, allows me to have full confidence that God is doing what He sees best to accomplish His plan. 

To create a positive day, I need to relinquish control of my life to God who ultimately His has the rightful-possessorship.

Back Surgery Number 12

Brief report on Surgery Day. This was my 12th back surgery. Today, my doctor removed my broken spinal stimulator.

My surgery outfit! Max, my parakeet, got to go with me... at least his picture did! The words above Max are "Create a Positive Day!"

You can't seem them in this picture, but my socks say "I am blessed"! A friend gave them to me for my birthday, and I thought they'd be great to wear on Surgery day. 

God used 8 "sticks" trying to get the IV started to introduce me to MORE people, who of course each received some "Create a Positive Day! treats. It took 4 nurses (including IV therapy specialist), the anesthesiologist, and my Dr to get the IV started. 

One really cool thing that happened in the midst of trying to get the IV started...One of the nurses said that we need to call on the IV Angels.. Perfect opportunity to share my Ponder Morsel for the day, On Guard Duty! I was able to share how God's Angels were on guard duty watching over me. What a wonderful opportunity that was. There are always reasons for what we may think are 'bad things'. If I didn't have trouble with getting the IV going...I wouldn't have had the opportunity to share about God and His angels. 

Surgery went well. Spent time in Recovery, moved to Day Surgery and back to recovery (no room in day surgery), then back to day surgery.. meeting more people along the way. 

Gave out MANY CPD treats and then my Dr took the treat bag and put it in the Drs/anesthesiologists lounge, so ALL the treats have been/or will be enjoyed. 

When I arrived home and checked my email... and I won ANOTHER contest! I won aLarry Dixon Al-Anabi 2010 Champ 1:24 Autographed Top Fuel Dragster NHRA Die cast from Plan B Sales! It will look great next to my #48 NASCAR die cast I won from Lionel a few weeks ago.

It was a blessed day!  I'm very sore, as to be expected. Now just have to "do nothing" and heal.

I have to say that I had a "fun day" creating a positive surgery day!

Update on Spinal Stimulator Trial

On Jan 31, 2013 I had a Spinal Implant Stimulator wire inserted in the epidural space to see if we could get a new spinal stimulator to help reduce my leg pain. The Dr had a difficult time inserting the wire due to the old stimulator paddle and scar tissue.

We were able to get the wire placed with some stim in the leg. I was able to "play" with the stim settings for several days to evaluate if it helped or caused more pain. The wire was removed on Feb 5th. 

We learned a few things from the trial:

1. There is scar tissue near the paddle (how much, we don't know)
2. The wire has to be EXACTLY mid-line in the back and at a higher level (T6 area)
3. If the wire is even slightly left or right, the stim moves to the front & creates pain. 

Since the removal of the wire on Feb 5, my pain level has been much higher. Not sure if the scar tissue is now pressing nerves, or if the nerves were just irritated by the wire/stim. My Pain Management Dr has been out of the office this week, but one of her Associates was able to get stronger pain med. I plan on talking with my Dr this next week (Feb 18-22) as to what, if anything we can do to lower the pain level at least back to "normal". 

What have I learned during this time?

• That God doesn't change depending on my pain level. 
• That even though I cannot do anything (moving hurts!), I can still pray for people. 
• That music with the right message is important to my "soul health" which is vital in tolerating the physical pain. (My Ponder Morsel for Feb 14, 2013)
• That it's okay to say "ouch" once and awhile. I usually try to be very strong and don't want to be a "complainer". But saying "ouch" is just stating a fact. I'm not complaining.

Where do I go from here? The first step is to see if we can get the pain level back to my "normal" level (which is plenty high enough). Then I have a few options as to what to do regarding the Spinal Stimulator.

• One option is to have another trial, which would be a "partial permanent implant" trial. That means the Dr would implant the wire/paddle and secure it in place. Part of the wire would be worn externally for a week or two to see if I'd get any relief. If the placement is correct and it works, the Dr. would disconnect the external wiring and connect new wires implanting the wires and new battery pack (IPG). If it did not work, the Dr. would remove the implant and wiring. 
• Another option is to have the old stimulator wiring and battery pack (IPG) removed. And 'give up' on using a Spinal Stimulator Implant for pain relief. 
• The last option is to see if the old stimulator wiring, battery pack (IPG) and paddle can be removed. Removing the paddle may not be easy due to the placement on the spinal cord and the scar tissue in that area. This would also be 'giving up' on using a Spinal Stimulator Implant for pain relief. 

How do I "feel" about all this?

• I'm thankful for some answers regarding the Spinal Stimulator Implant. We know that for me to get any relief the wire/paddle has to be exactly mid-line and higher. 
• I don't like the increased pain. And I have to take that into consideration as I make my decision on another implant trial. Each time I have surgery I will grow more scar tissue and that can irritate more nerves. 
• I'm thankful for the stronger pain medications, but don't like the side-effects. 

Right now I'm in the "waiting room". And as many of you know, I'm not a very good "waiter". But I'm trying to learn that waiting is not a bad thing. As I wait, I can continue to pray about my decision and continue to research my options. 

Thank you for your prayers as I "wait". God is good all the time! And all the time God is good! 

Creating a positive day isn't easy when the pain level is extreme. But I'm learning that the day can be very positive if I keep my focus on what God is doing, and allow God to teach me and use me to help others. 

Blessed!

Back to the doctor today. God has blessed me with two awesome doctors! I know I've blogged about them before...but they are really good! My pain management doctor is so sweet and such a great doctor. And my chiropractor is so kind, compassionate, and a great encourager. God knew exactly who I'd need on my team. God has equipped me with the doctors who work well together and work hard to provide the care I need. 

I'm also blessed with some great friends. It's amazing how God puts people together. It's cool to see God's hand in creating a friendship. That way you know the friendship has a good foundation; based on God! Friends not only are helpful, but provide laughter, encouragement, and keep me on track! And one good rule for a friend.....be flexible! :>)

"We can bring an attitude of expectant trust to such praying. There is no reason to think that God cannot provide the person we need or to help us find him. He (God) has resources we cannot imagine, and ways of communicating His will to those who seek Him! (The Friendship Connection, pg 64).

God blesses us by sending people into our lives. Some we know very well, others we may only see once in a great while. Creating a positive day, includes noticing the people God brings into your life. God introduces us to people for specific reasons! And an easy way to create a positive day.....is to count your blessings! Start right now.....and name one blessings! Soon your list will start growing!